Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Kim Kardashian is a piece of shit, and other non-news

I don't seek out celebrity "news," but it is everywhere. It permeates all forms of media from the gossip rags to the boob tube, and I typically get more than my share of information this way. While standing in line at the CVS, I read the tabloid headlines and I have been known to read People magazine in waiting rooms. I am neither immune to it nor highly involved in it, but when I hear of something that pisses me off enough, it becomes my cause.

I was listening to the local pop station in the car because my mp3 player was dead. The DJ announced that at 1:10 she was going to tell us listeners "another reason to hate Kim Kardashian." Okay, I could always use a reason to feel better about myself through hearing about how vapid, vain, and shallow the skinny, rich debutantes on TV are. I figured this would be along the lines of Paris Hilton's almost-cutely-naive "what's a Wal-Mart?" antics.

Here it is [via Twitter, a.k.a. celebrities' forum for saying fucked up shit]: "EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is breast feeding her baby w no coverup."

After facing criticism for her comments, Kim defended them by saying that it was not the breastfeeding (because it was "beautiful and natural" when her sister did it for her child), but mostly the fact that the woman was exposing herself in public.

Okay, so let me get this straight. Kim "lookatme" Kardashian, a "socialite" (who, in other words, is a famous person who does nothing besides get her picture taken and make sex tapes), feels that it's WRONG for this mother to expose her breasts in public.

Kim Kardashian, who regularly exposes her cleavage with the intention of arousing viewers' sexual appetites, says "EWW" to the lady who dares to use those parts of her body for their intended purpose.

Kim Kardashian, a one-time Playboy model who celebrates and condones the sexualization of her baby-makin', baby-growin', baby-feedin' body parts, finds it offensive that this woman's baby was EATING LUNCH IN A RESTAURANT.

Kim Kardashian who, when asked why she was famous responded with, "Because I have a big, fat ass," has decided to tackle a politicized issue. And, although her feelings on the subject only go as deep as what makes her enjoy or not enjoy her lunch (paid for by either one of her athlete boyfriends or last month's pin-up shoot), there are enough people willing to listen that her remarks became national news whether or not she can put a sentence together.

Perhaps if I lose 50 pounds and make a sex tape four million followers will listen to what I have to say too.

Perhaps this is really what it takes for a woman to be valued in society.

My sincere hope is that one day Kimmy K. will be out somewhere with her infant child, long after her fifteen minutes are up, when her body is a tad less desirable to the general public. She will get out her "cover up" to feed her baby, and some young starlet will turn up her nose in disgust because she feels no one should take out her breasts unless she happens to be busty, slender, greased up, and in front of a camera. Because that's totally "natural."


  1. Replies
    1. no sh'es not!! she's apiece of proto plasim a big hunk of shit

  2. What was this article about? I was too distracted by the playboy photos to focus on the paragraphs. It's the fault of women that causes me to lose concentration. (sarcasm, if you couldn't detect it)


  3. Matthew: I'll admit that when I was looking for the pictures to post of this vain little creature I thought to myself, "Damn, she's stunning!" But this is not a debate about whether or not she's hot so much as a declaration that Kim Kardashian should not ever speak in public about anything besides how hot she is (which, to my understanding, she already does at length).

    Brandon: Sadly, I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm or not at first. Also, I'm curious if you're a Brandon I know in real life or someone else?

  4. I thought it was a good idea to append my comment with parentheses. The name's Brandon Woodhouse, from the UK. I doubt we've ever met, unless you've ever visited!

    I stumbled across your blog randomly one day. I think was searching for ones on prose or something.


  5. Okay, that's cool. I was wondering who would be reading my blog that isn't a friend or family member, since I don't have any "followers" who are strangers. I'm glad you're still reading, though!

    I did visit the U.K. three years ago, actually. If you happened to be in London in July we could very well have passed right by one another!

    And finally, how did you find out where I work? Maybe I slipped up and named it once?

  6. Wait, you mean to tell me that oogling is not the breast's "intended purpose"?

  7. In 10 years, no one will remember her, whereas Brigite Bardot and Marilyn Monroe will be remembered forever. Why? Because both did interesting films and had PERSONALITY. Kardashian has NOTHING, but plasitcs built over a body that was ordinary, and which was over publicized. Trust me, in 10 - 15 years, no one will remember her except as a talentless , over promoted bimbo.

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  9. just ignore the bitch and she will go away

  10. I'm still staring.

    Wow. I REALLY need to get a boob job.

    Awesome blog, by the way.


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