After some waffling I decided to copy and paste the text from this entire post, word for word, into the little "contact us" thingy on Bar Louie's web site. Naturally, I signed with a fake name.
I got this reply from their manager:
Dear Laetitia [imagine my surprise upon seeing this name after forgetting I'd used it],
First, I would like to apologize for the recent service you experienced at our establishment on the evening of Tuesday, October 12, the service you received was completely unacceptable. However, I would also like to extend gratitude for you sending an email allowing this situation to be brought to my attention; customer feedback is an invaluable tool to improve our business. There were many mistakes that were made that night and the improper handling by the manager on duty at that time, only made those mistakes worse. I would like to invite you back into our establishment for another meal, on us, and hopefully we can make this situation right. We will have your name on file for a $50 visit to accommodate an evening for you and a guest. Also, we will be discussing your email, not only as a management team, but with the entire service staff, as well. Once again, we appreciate you feedback.
Typhie McPhoid [what the hell - I'll just make up everyone's name today!]
[Not to be outdone, I replied thusly:]
Thanks for your reply. I wanted to clarify that I published that blog post on October 6, so my boyfriend and I actually went to BL on Tuesday the 5th. I felt it necessary to let you know so that innocent employees who worked on the 12th don't get blamed for something that happened on the 5th - there was some lag time between that post and my contacting you, obviously.
That said, I would also like to thank you for your offer. However, I will have to decline. I've been in food service too long to feel comfortable accepting free food just for complaining. In any case, my name isn't even Laetitia.
Bagel Fairy [and I really did sign it this way]
I wonder what it says about my vanity that I'm absolutely thrilled that so many people will read/hear my original e-mail. In fact, I believe this will be my first public reading!
Too bad I won't be there to bask in my glory.