I've been trying to figure out how to get more readers, and after consulting my blog stats I had an idea. The most traffic that ever reaches this blog comes from Google image searches of Kim Kardashian that eventually lead to this post, therefore all I need to do to get more page hits is to bring in perverts and simpletons from all over the internet. Then, once their appetites for funny or titillating pictures have been satisfied, they will think to themselves,
"Hey, I just now realized I really enjoy reading about customer fuckwads; in fact, I'd rather spend the rest of the afternoon reading about them than look for boobalicious pictures of halfwit celebrities. I think I'm gonna bookmark the Bagel Fairy and make sure I can have as much life wisdom imparted onto me as possible!"
Clearly, this is genius because visitors=readers. Behold your sampling of Things People Like to Find on the Internet, and then watch as the new readers start rolling in. (Oh, and if they happen to be Anonymous trolls, then bring it, bitches.)
PEOPLE GETTING INJURED!
CARS AND BOOBS!