Monday, March 28, 2011

Wanderlust Quelled

Isn't it funny how you don't appreciate time off until you get almost none of it? I remember the summer between high school graduation and my first year of college. I was living at home and working part-time, which resulted in an obscene amount of free time and a modest income that was entirely expendable. Given that I can hardly recall a thing about that summer (save graduation and a two-week trip to China, that is), I clearly squandered that money and time on god knows what and had little to no appreciation for my good fortune.

So when plans to visit an old buddy in Albuquerque in late March fell through and I found myself with a week of vacation time to use before the end of the fiscal year, I finally realized the gift that had been bestowed upon me, which is to say five days of (paid) nothingness. After half a year of working six (sometimes seven) days a week, I discovered something as fabulous as a trip to the beach or to see an old friend: freedom. Not the buzz-word, euphemistic, politicized, we're-better-than-those-people-over-there kind of freedom, but the state-of-being-free kind.

And once I fully grasped the lack of checklists, time sheets, mail runs, phones, schedules, 6:00 a.m. alarms, and managers, I was finally able to fully embrace my liberty, and relax enough to get shit done.

Here's a list of a few things I accomplished in those six days:

-Got the oil changed (is it a sign of maturity that I relish the extra time to accomplish such things?)
-Took in my violin for some much needed cleaning/repair/upkeep
-Finished that biography of Elizabeth I
-Visited both sets of parental units and talked to my sister
-Saw two movies (in the theater!)
-Spent some quality Mario Kart time with my buddy The Towel Fairy, whom I will likely not see much once she starts law school
-Went clothes shopping and resisted the urge to buy crap I didn't need
-Purchased razors in the vain hope that spring-like weather would arrive soon after (and for which I'm still waiting)
-Watched Inception a second time with my boyfriend so we could debate about whether he was dreaming the whole time or not (I still don't know because those tricky bastards wouldn't show his left hand at the end, because he wore his wedding band in the dream sequences)
-Got my hair cut for the first time since that free haircut charity thingy last summer
-Consumed about a gallon of coffee

You know what I didn't do, for once in my life? Get myself so worked up over a guilty sense of needing to accomplish everything in order to feel like I'd accomplished something that I ended up doing nothing at all (funny how that happens). Long stretches of idle time can wreak havoc on the psyche that way.

Only a pretentious, over-thinking asshole like me could extract such meaning out of a five day stay-cation; however, my douchebaggery notwithstanding, I propose a recommendation to all, if you can, to make some off-duty time for yourself next time you get a day or two off work. Just do it. You're welcome.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Another Absence

Hi there. You won't hear from me again for a while, because my computer is still not working and I have the entire week off (gasp!). I had vacation time to use before the fiscal year ends, and for the first time since college I am taking time off and going nowhere. Hell yes. I once would have complained about this, but that was before I was working six days a week. Last night I slept a glorious twelve hours, and as a consequence it's 10:40 and I'm not going to bed yet. Crazy.

Have a lovely, drama-free spring week. I know I will.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Shit That's Really Starting to Get on My Nerves, Part V: Heavy-Handed, Guilt-Inducing Messages About What I Should Believe and Do

You know what kind of message I'm talking about; you got them all the time as soon as well-meaning friends and family members discovered the internet in the form of chain e-mails: Forward this petition if you have a soul, the text called from underneath the canopy of strangers' e-mail addresses. Forward this if you care about abused women, abused children, abused animals, the poor, the destitute, conspiracies, the oppressed minorities of third-world countries. Ignore this if you are callous about starvation and genital mutilation! Go ahead. I dare you.

The aim, of course, is to establish the sender's moral superiority over you in order to guilt you into making the statement and/or taking the action called for in the message. And while the aforementioned demands typically refer to political issues and ask for signatures on ineffective petitions, another loathsome breed of guilt-baiting has sprung in the form of religious fervor. The message is basically this: "I believe in Jesus, and I'm not ashamed to say it" [read: I'm self-righteously unafraid to declare my devotion]. I occasionally see this on my Facebook news feed, simply rolling my eyes and continuing to the next item. Here's one I came across last week, though, on the profile of someone I work with:

Can anyone tell me why it is so hard for people to pray, but easy to swear? Why it is so hard to re-post a [C]hristian status, but easy to post gossip? Why can we worship a celebrity, but not Jesus? Gonna ignore this? Most of you won't re-post this. The Lord said, 'If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father.' I posted. Will you?

In spite of my lack of religion, I pride myself on being tolerant of people's convictions and their desire to publicly express them, but this is completely ridiculous. And while I enjoy the company of the person who posted this and have even spent time with her outside of work, this is the first I've heard of her supposed religious zeal. She swears, gossips, and reads celebrity news, and therefore is clearly not above these things. Condemning an action does not negate it.

That said, the person I really take issue with is whoever wrote this self-righteous drivel, and I am going to respond to it point by point.

On why it is "so hard for people to pray, but easy to swear": Because we have become an increasingly secular society. While there are plenty of people who still say grace before their meals and have crucifixes on their walls and otherwise have their religion woven tightly into their everyday existence, this is no longer the case as much as it once was (and still is in some cultures). Besides, swearing and praying are not mutually exclusive; plenty of people do both.

On why it is "so hard to re-post a Christian status, but easy to post gossip": It is not a matter of being 'hard' or 'easy.' Religion is a very personal thing for many people. The number of times you post about how much you love your deity on a social networking site is not directly proportional with how genuinely committed you are to your faith. Conversely, gossip is shallow, and there is very little at stake for the person spreading it (though it is, of course, often harmful and damaging to the object of it).

On why we "worship a celebrity, but not Jesus": To compare Jesus's relative cultural importance to that of today's A-listers--most of whom will be all but forgotten in a few generations--is the most ludicrous part of this tirade against godlessness. No, Jesus does not make too many appearances on the cover of US Weekly, but he is still the star of the second half of Western civilization's biggest bestseller and continues to be one of history's most influential figures thousands of years after his time. Whoever wrote this either doesn't understand the difference or gives our superficial culture way too much credit.

On whether or not I'm "gonna ignore this": I'm not ignoring it. I'm pointing out what's wrong with it.

On the assertion that "most...won't re-post this": Even if I considered myself a Christian, I would not allow myself to be intimidated into re-posting something by someone who is employing such immature shaming tactics, and the same goes for any "post this or you're an asshole" messages.

On what "the Lord said": By refusing to re-post, one is not "denying" Jesus so much as rejecting the method of delivery of such a message.

On whether or not I will post: I suppose it is self-evident by now that I will not be re-posting.

If I have something to say about religious, social, or political issues, I will be writing my own status.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Bagel Fairy's Disappearing Act

Sorry for the neglect, dear readers. I have had ideas for posts but my laptop at home won't turn on, meaning my capability of posting hinges on which position I am working and how many supervisors are poking around. Considering that almost none of the blogs I read are work appropriate, I sadly have to forego until I'm on a desk where people aren't breathing down my neck at all times.