Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Obnoxious Facebook Statuses: Week 1

I've had quite a bit to say about other people's annoying Facebook statuses and tweets. I've been trying to figure out what to do about my irritation for a while, and narrowed it down to a few options:

1.) Be an adult and accept that everyone has their own opinions and joys in life,

2.) delete my account altogether,

3.) delete people from my friends list who engage in the obnoxious behavior, or

4.) make fun of them on my blog.

The first option is absurdly unrealistic and no fun at all. The second is horrifying, while the third takes away one of my dearest sources of entertainment. So I am forced--forced, then, to add a new feature to my blog. I shall periodically delight you with my favorite "friends'" remarks, rants, and ruminations--unattributed and (most importantly) unedited.

Today's obnoxious status comes from a former high school classmate, who attended and finished school for social work and completed an unpaid internship, only to get knocked up by a guy who'd graduated a year ahead of us. Now, among the constant updating of pictures of her baby boy her page is littered with celebrations of domesticity.

[I feel] like Suzy Homemaker in the best way possible this week: made blackberry pie sunday, meatloaf wrapped in bacon yesterday, banana bread today and cheddar beer soup tomoorow.... now off to clean!!

I hope I can be this happy some day.


  1. I am going to try to make my statuses as annoying as possible. Hmmm... I should start bitching about how I graduated from undergrad 2 years ago and can't understand why no one is paying me $100,000 a year to sit on my ass and think deep thoughts (smoke pot).

    -The Towel Fairy

  2. I'm absolutely delighted by this. I actually thought about doing it a while ago, but I think you'll be much better at it :)

  3. I was totally going to create something like this as well.. nevermind the fact that I haven't posted since November, but it was still a thought :) I have some hilarious fb friends.. my favorite so far from a kid a few years behind me in school.. "Outta jail!! Yess!" Like, what?? Lmao


    When I see statuses like "blah blah blah, so in LOVE with my ____," I'm like...seriously?


  5. LOL i totally do this but i tweet stupid shit my redneck coworker says! she talks non fucking stop so it's fuckin' hilarious. i cannot wait to read more of these from ya!


  6. This makes me think that I need to start posting more creative status updates.

  7. This sounds either like she is a part of the Stepford Wives, on Xanax or really has nothing better to do with herself. How do you have all that time to make such things?


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