Most blog awards have "rules" attached to them, which in this case entails the recipient naming ten good blogs and sharing some facts about him or herself. I already named ten blogs a few months ago, so I'll add to that list with five more I've been lately reading.
1. My brother-in-law, a former marine, recently joined the police academy. All I have to say is that those guys are some sick bastards. Read all about it at Crossing the Thin Blue Line.
2. My long-suffering sister listens to the aforementioned adrenaline junkie's rants and drives him to the hospital when he injures himself. She also happens to be the exact opposite of me; rather than writing about Shit That's Really Starting to Get on My Nerves, she writes posts like Things I'm Excited About. If you ever tire of my bitchiness, go there instead.
3. I think restaurant managers have the worst jobs because, while they get paid (slightly) more than us floor-mopping peons, they have to deal with both the "I want to see a manager" customers AND the "ummmm....I can't come in today because I have, like, a hangover..." employees. So, Restaurant Manager, I hereby bestow the same award onto you which you have bestowed onto me. And thank you.
4. You know that friend you have who's endlessly fabulous but knows it, so you have a hard time admitting to her fabulousness because you're annoyed with her gargantuan ego even though you secretly want to be her? Enter the Barrenness, the self-identified harem-keeping hedonist: 30-ish, thin, childless, stilletto-wearing, London-dwelling, totally full of herself, and totally cool. Oh, and the writing's good too.
5. I don't know why I didn't start following A Bitch Called Mom sooner, but it's probably the most deserving of an LOL Award just for the fact that I snicker out loud at just about every post I read. To explain what it's about, though, I think Ms. Hyde's own words are sufficient:
A Bitch Called Mom is the side of myself that I try to deny; the side of motherhood that people pretend doesn’t exist. The side that needs a glass of wine before family game night and is suspicious of her husband’s fidelity because she's gained 25 pounds. The bitchy side. The Bitch is not grateful for the joys and wonderment of motherhood. To the contrary, she’s damned sick of it. My purpose is to give a voice to those who might not otherwise have one. Sometimes that voice has something good to say. Other times the voice is a bitch. Either way some woman, somewhere will smile, cry or breathe a sigh of relief because FINALLY someone understands.
Oh, and I'm supposed to say seven things about myself you don't know. (Or, at least, most of you.)
1. I have traveled to China, England, Ireland, and Greece, but not to Canada or Mexico.
2. I wrote my first short story when I was about seven or eight, in a small, lined notebook with hearts on the cover. It's about a little girl who, at the end, decides she loves Jesus.
3. When I was little I thought cheese was fruit. Among other things I said when I was little, I haven't been able to live that one down.
4. I've marched in a Gay Pride Parade.
5. I was once a cheerleader. (Yes, I can feign pure, unadulterated joy.)
6. I have played the violin for fourteen years.
7. I get a pleasant tingling sensation in the back of my neck when I hear soothing voices or sounds.
I'm also supposed to comment on these people's blogs and tell them about the award, but I'm not going to do that. I'd prefer to pimp my blog other ways.