Tuesday, March 6, 2012

30 Letters: Day 4 — your sibling

Fer,

I have realized recently, similarly to my discoveries about many an unfortunate peer’s situation with his or her parents, how lucky I am to have you as a sister. A sister who taught me the slang terms and fashions of Older Kids, who played Barbies and dollhouse with me even after she’d kind of outgrown them, who drove me to school in the morning, who shared a room with my messy ass for 12 years, who loved me even when I was being an asshole. Perhaps if I’d realized as a kid how rare the quality of our relationship would be, I would have been nicer sometimes. But I do still think it’s pretty much a requirement, as a little sister, that I be at least a tad annoying.

I often wonder how differently I would have turned out if I’d been the oldest, or an only child, or had had a brother instead. At the very least, I would have done (if not been) different things, because pretty much everything I ever tried was because I wanted to be a little more like my cooler older sister. For anyone who knows me, there is simply no other way to explain what would possess me to want to join the cheerleading squad, or pretend to be into football for so long, or have as many obscenely girly toys and clothes as I did. I finally grew up enough to strive to be my own person, but I continue to admire so many things and still sometimes try, just a little, to be more like you.

But there’s no need for that, because our differences are what make the car trips and family vacations and, yes, comparing the overall tone of our blogs, fun (read: yours is positive and peppy and mine is…nihilistic and sometimes hateful). Other things that make car trips and family vacations fun: quoting Luda, ganging up on David, long walks on the beach (not just for lovers anymore), playing with the pups, and calling each other ‘hooker’ and making our relatives uncomfortable.

Once again, Family Values.

Lovingly yours,

Sis

1 comment:

  1. My thoughts exactly. Sometimes I wish I had been nicer to you as well- more protective when the babysitter hid your blanket and more patient with your messiness, because there’s nothing that says being a neat-freak is “right” and being messy is “wrong.” But the beauty of our relationship is how as we grew, our friendship grew as well.

    What you may not realize is all the ways I admire you as well. How you read what I would consider educational books for fun, your talent with words and music, and how your view of the world lacks the naivety I sometimes have.

    I’m excited for you that you’re pursuing your passion and applying for grad schools, and will support you, even if you end up in that state up north…

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